Ch. 61: "God, are you there?"

Chapter 61: "God, are you there?"

 “God, if you´re there....please let me know.”
Silence.
More awkward silence.
Nothing...
All of us were anxiously waiting for what would surely be the world´s biggest answer to prayer. Not once, not twice, but three times I heard this exact phrase with three different investigators. And not three times, not twice, not even once was the sweet spirit that was felt after the prayer sufficient for the person offering it. We have got a lot of work on our hands. I feel like I had the exact same lesson with our three boys that are questioning their faith in God. Marlon, Josep, and Bryan all had such powerful lessons, and are all seeking an answer, and none seem to be getting it. However, I know at the same time that they aren´t doing all they could to get their answers. It´s so frustrating! We were in our cita with Marlon, and he said, “If everyone is telling you about 'feeling' something like the Holy Ghost, I feel like psychologically, you would eventually make yourself believe you are feeling something. For example, if there is a cup on a table, but I paid everyone that passed by and said there was no cup on the table 100 dollars, eventually people would question if there was really a cup on the table.”
I just kind of looked at him, and thought, “Really, are you serious?” but I replied, “But if there was three witnesses that there is a cup at the table that don´t fail, it makes it more credible, no? That´s the role of the scriptures. Have you been reading the Book of Mormon?” He sheepishly looked up and said, “Um....a few verses....when I have time.” If you don´t read the Book of Mormon, then how are you supposed to know it is all true??
The lesson with Josep turned into a showdown at his dining room table. “Josep, how are you supposed to know if God exists if you don´t pray and ask him if he is there?”
“God doesn´t listen to me. He doesn´t want to listen to me. And you know what, if God does exist, why do people pass through such hard times. Just so they can grow and learn' examples just doesn´t cut it for me.” When we finally got down to his real concerns, he jumped up from the table and went and got us a five course meal to keep us quiet.....Not that I don´t love food, but it could have waited!
The last example was with Bryan. We had a super powerful lesson with him about prayer and the Book of Mormon in receiving our answers. He just kept saying, “I get it. I finally get it now.” we were just like, “That´s great! So will you come to church tomorrow?” “No I can´t, I am going to be tired.”
What. Are you serious.
With all three of these situations, they are all expecting God to show Himself to them, but they aren´t willing to come to Him. I suppose with time...
At least to brighten our week we had a really powerful lesson with actually, an active family in the ward. We have been advised to go teach the Restoration to active families, and it was a really sweet experience. It was one of the most powerful lessons that we had done of the Restoration in a long time. We found out afterwards, that the 16 year old son was praying the night before about exactly what we talked about. Although he was already a member, our purpose as missionaries is to invite all to come unto Christ—not just people who are unfamiliar with the church. It was a beautiful sight to see the Dad wipe the tears from his eyes as he testified of Christ and Joseph Smith to his son. It really strengthened my testimony that all the doctrines of the church help strengthen the family. We also were able to go do a big service project on the mountainside next to our little town here. We went and picked up glass for three hours as we talked with the ward members, and afterwards had a big paella. I am going to miss the paella here. Haha I really just got a big love for the ward here, these members are great, and I am so blessed to be here. We contacted some potential investigators this week, and we are excited to meet with them. I have been feeling a little, maybe forsaken here for a while. I could feel a little bit of empathy for the investigators that were crying out for God, and not receiving answers. So, I looked over what I needed to do and decided I just needed to be myself more! God wants me to be me, and that´s why I am here. The morning I decided that, we contacted this man that is a writer and musician. God answers prayers. His name is Juan and he even said that he would hook me up with his publisher in Barcelona if I wanted. I don´t think he understands that I don´t have a lot of free time on my hand to write novels on the mission. Hahaha But, he has a lot of potential, and I am excited to meet with him. I know that God really does answer prayers, but sometimes, we put our own pavilion over our heads!
Les Quiero!
Hermana Hopkins